OPENING DAY 2008! HERE IT IS!

KELLI

The day has arrived....Opening Day 2008. Let's go baby! I'm fired up. I got my tickets in hand, my Carlton T shirt on and I'm heading down at 11:30 to McFaddens. Look for me in a puddled mess on the floor. I'll also be hitting up my favorite bartender, Kelli. She's a 23 year old McFadden's Ballpark bartender, with looks to die for. Kelli's from Jersey and she's a bartender/model/receptionist. She calls herself a Jack of all trades. So while I'm waiting for the game to start, I plan on harassing Kelli into pouring shots into my mouth or feeding me jello shots. If you've NEVER been to McFadden's on gameday, your seriously missing out. The hottest bartenders in the city with nothin but Phillies fans. Kelli's just a single girl who loves to have fun. You can catch her dancing the night away with her crazy friends....who she says are ALWAYS a good time. I believe it. Here we go, fellas. A hottie who doesn't mind getting you drunk....I'm hoping she gets me so drunk I slobber all over myself. So I asked Kelli a few questions for today's home opener.....most importantly, How do I pick up the drunk girls at McFaddens. I have to say, she's got a good answer, but I don't agree with it...sobering up on gameday is NOT an option.

Tip(s) of the Day

1. Ok, It's opening day, I'm hammered and I see a hottie across the bar...what's my best approach?

A: ur best approach...if ur hammered...is probably sober up! No girl like an overly drunk dude all over them...unless were hammered ourselves! Haha

2. Wat's your prediction for the Phillies this year?

A: as for the phillies...i think they will do really well and get far this season!

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Atomic Bombshell's Anatomically Correct Dating Advice

Dear Atomic Bombshell,

I have this friend that turned into a booty-call situation. We are having a massive fight because she admitted to having feelings for me. I told her I didn't feel the same so things got weird and we stopped seeing each other for like 2 months. We ran into each other and started hooking up again. She said some things that sounded very relationship like and I told her again that I don't feel the same way about her. She started freaking out, screaming at me about hooking back up with her. I ALREADY TOLD HER. Why is she blaming me and freaking out if I already told her? Why isn't she getting it?
-Just not that into her

Dear Just not that into her,

Let me help put things into perspective for you. Let's say Johnny Depp (who I have been crushing on like a high school girl) invites me to his place for a drink. I know he has a common-law whatever her name is, with kids and so on.. But the way his eye lashes are so dark, it rims his perfectly shaped eyes. I say yes. I know it's wrong. It turns out, he is witty, artsy and everything I imagined he would be, right down to the way he smokes his cigarette. He asks to see me again. I know my feelings are going to get hurt later on and this whole thing is morally wrong. I still go. Why? Because of the way I feel when I'm with him and the fact that he wants to spend time with me makes me hopeful. BEING SMITTEN WITH SOMEONE CAN BE A POWERFUL THING. Just because you told her that you didn't feel the same way, the fact that you went back to have sex with her, KNOWING she had deeper feelings for you, makes it wrong. Yes, she should have turned your ass away and shut you down. If you really have nothing for her, than you are the stronger one here and you should have said no. Especially if you were friends before all this stuff happened. Of course she is going to be hopeful. In her mind, she put her feelings out there and time went by and you hooked up again. That's why she is freaking out. Women are more sentimental creatures. Sex for us, almost always has emotions attached to it. If you really don't feel the same way, STOP HOOKING UP WITH HER!

Sincerely,
Atomic Bombshell
Do you have questions or comments about sex, CRAZY SEX or dating? Email me at AtomicXBombshell@yahoo.com

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She Can Dance If She Wants To

Rach

Ahhh Rach. Rach used to be a cheerleader for 14 years, and now she's a hairstylist. This 21 year old hottie comes to us from Prospect Park. Rach is definitely a hottie. I think I'm a brunette guy. Look at the eyes too. This girl is hot and most likely is well aware of that. Now that she 21 she's a definite clubgirl. You can find her shaking her ass all across the city on the weekends. Rachel looks like she's really fun to hang out with. Never a dull moment...plus she's got a nosering...so I'm thinking there s a wildside to this one. But, I'm taking a new route today. I found this and some of the stuff on there is too good to pass up. So from her own mouth.... Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Rach.

29 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT RACH

1.Im very loud
2.Once i start laughin i cant stop,which is all the time
3.I wanna be a pornstar's hairstylist
4.I have no concept of death on my trampoline
5.I make up my own words
6.I love makin out!
7.I wear heals everyday to work
8.I sing opera
9.I dance like im sexy
10.I love Big hair
11.I love when guys load on cologne! biggest turn on
12.I was a cheerleader for 14 yrs
13.I chug alcohol out of the bottle like a champ!
14.I wear minnie mouse nitties to bed hah
15.I pick at my pillow
16.I jam out in the car
17.My nails and toes are always painted and clean
18.I have barbie feet
19.I have a tattoo on my butt and my hand
20.I always play with my nose ring so it looks like i pick my nose
22.I dip my fries in my milkshakes
23.I make the ugliest faces
24.I act like an idot 95% of the time...
25.I make animal noises (fav is chubaka)
26.I have to sneak food from my mom cause im always dieting
27.I am always the entertainment..so im always havin fun ..
28.I can threaten someone in french
29.I am obsessed with shoes

By the way...What the hell are Barbie feet?

Tip of the day

Q: What's your BEST piece of dating advice for single guys?

A: well i would say my best advice is beauty only catches the eye..but personality caputures the heart

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Philadelphia Does It Like Nobody Does, This Is How We Do It

Natalie D.

This girl should be outlawed. Plain and simple. Tall, thin, beautiful smile, great eyes....I don't know where to start,, or finish. But I've got a few ideas. Seriously just look at the smile, it's that smile where you know this girl is always having a good time. It's not fake or overdone, like your mother's boobjob. Natalie is a 26 year old hottie who livess in Margate (a little outside our range) buuuut is originally from Philly and works in Philly as a Pharmaceutical Sales Rep. That's right fellas...JACKPOT! Except with our luck, instead of selling the good stuff, she probably sells some new Erectile Dysfunction pill. Well, at least you've got Christmas covered for Dad! No, she really sells Dermatology drugs, which is "skin stuff" in Doctor Speak. You can find Natalie partying it up, traveling, and spending her free time as single woman in the city...but she IS currently dating. So, fellas, strap on your best lab coat, shine up your clipboard, and put on your best John Stamos impression (from ER...not Uncle Jessie from Full House impression..THE HAIR! THE HAIR!!) Fo' real, Natalie is absolutely gorgeous. I'll be spending today at various skin doctor offices hoping to get a glimpse of the real thing in person.

Tip of the Day

Q: What's your best piece of dating advice for a single guy?

A: Women want a down to earth guy not someone who has to brag about how much money they have or what kind of car they drive..this makes you seem shallow and arrogant, it is a big turn off. I see it as if you have to talk your self up so much, it must mean you're lacking in other departments!!

Fortunately for me, I drive a piece of shit and have no money. So bragging isn't really in my repertoire.

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We Run The City, But We Don't Dance Around Like Diddy

Lori

L-Town what?!...I don't think we've had a Levittowner for a while on these here pages. I had to switch around the rotation this week because we just had tooooo many brunettes. I know you blonde lovers out there were going into withdrawal. Like an meth addict, I just can't get enough of the sultry Lori. She's a nanny by day, and hottie by night. Seriously, having a nanny like this would do serious harm to any marriage I might ever have. If any of my childrens ever come to light, and I need a nanny, I'm going to the local weight watchers to find her. I'll stand in line and just scan the crowd. Hmmmmm deuce...deuce and half...your my nanny! Or I'll hire supernanny, cause there's absolutely nothing hot about her and her accent. Lori is definitely a girly girl. She likes to wear pink, and she seriously loves to shop. She shops "like its my job" but luckily at least she HAS a job with which to make money to afford her habits. Unlike me, who enjoys putting bartabs on already overrun credit cards. Lori's got a tight little package to compliment her great eyes. Anywayyyyys, I'm a fan, and definitely check out her advice. She took some time to deliver us her help, so here's how to impress a girl like Lori.

Tip of the Day

Q: What's your best advice for a single guy??

A: don't try to hard too impress a girl bc you'll end up doing something dumb and/or looking like an ass. also, if your shy-break out of the shell. be aggressive, but not too creepy child molester like aggressive lol

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I Know She Got It Cause She's Lookin' At Me Like She Want It

Deidre

Less than a week til the Phillies Home Opener!!! I got my tickets...if you don't have yours, you're shit out of luck. Sold out, son. Today we've got a preschool teacher comin at you from Jersey. Time to stake claim to your lil' illegitimates, and get them into preschool quick! These teachers in these schools are top notch hotties. (SIDENOTE: That would be my rap name...Lil' Illegitimate.) When she's not mentoring today's infants, Deidre can be found studying psychology at Rowan University. I actually made a stop there this winter for a basketball game. The campus sucked cause there were no directions...the basketball team had no fans, cause they made the women's game the "primetime" game, so everyone showed up late. Which was better for me...it's easier to heckle in an empty gym. Just ask the ref. Deidre is 22 years old and loves hangin out with the girlies, who she says are always a crazy time. Crazy girl...hmmmmm..... not so much....Crazy Hot girls....like these ones. Book it! So take Deidre's advice, and go find yourself a hottie like this.

Tip of the Day

Q: What's your best piece of dating advice for a single guy?

Q: best piece of dating advice would be for a guy to just be himself and be goofy. girls love guys who can make them laugh. and if you like a girl, don't hit on her best friend.

Don't hit on her best friend.....sadly some of us may not have known that. MULLIVAN!

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The Balls, and Someone Who Just Smells Like Balls

Ok, I'm always looking for some interesting new Philadelphia information to throw up on this lovely site. and I found it. Pictured above are AJ Daulerio...the scrappy lil' fella who wrote about us on Phillymag.com (and his best work can be found at deadspin.com). I might be highjacking this picture, but it's too priceless to leave alone. And on the right, the greatest Hall Of Famers who never made it to the hall of fame...Mike Mamula. Oh you remember Mamula....the linebacker full of mediocre stats, who built a paycheck base on combine workouts. Well where is he now?? Odd, cause I actually had this conversation this weekend, and the Eagles gods pissed on my parade. Apparently he's not a gay pornstar with a funny mustache...at least not according to this article. We're talking about Mamula. Not AJ.....I swear. Click this link....

http://www.philadelphiaeagles.com/news/Story.asp?story_id=15246

PS...The person who smells like balls is Mamula. He works out hard.

And That photo is courtesy of Deadspin.com

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Michael Squints Palledorous walked a little taller that day. And we had to tip our hats to him.

Devin

Remember the movie Sandlot, when Squints pretends to drown so he can get mouth to mouth from Wendy Peffercorn?? Well, here's out Wendy Peffercorn.....and consider me squints. Devin is a 22 year old hottie who is a Coors Light Girl (piss water in a bottle), babysitter and year round lifeguard. I wonder how many times a year people pull the old Sandlot Miracle. I mean, even Yeah-Yeah was impressed, and that fat tub of lard Ham Porter was too! Benny the jet woulda taken his full ride to Neumann College had he known that Devin was gonna be there studying special education. So if I was in school, I'd even be in her classes! So this summer, Ill be tying my swim trunks tight around the waste, putting on my best goggles, and taking a face first plunge into the deep end. All for a chance to "Squint" the lovely Devin. The pool must be such a better place with lifeguards like this around. When she's not traveling to avoid the frigid weather, Devin likes to hit up the bars and get crazy with her girls. What a fun group, and if you ever get alcohol poisoning, she can save your life. Versatility ladies...that what we love.

Tip of the Day

Q: Whats your best piece of dating advice for single guys?

A: best piece of dating advice would be for a guy to just be himself and be goofy. girls love guys who can make them laugh. and if you like a girl, don't hit on her best friend. that's a big no no. haha

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Atomic Bombshell's Anatomically Correct Dating Advice

Dear Atomic Bombshell,

I have an off and on relationship with my girlfriend. We have been together for about 2 years. I guess you might say that our relationship is unhealthy. We fight a lot and we are both jealous. This last time that we broke up, she stayed with a friend but I heard she was hanging out with one of my good (guy) friends. I think they may have been doing something behind my back. I know it's expected that after 2 years, they would become friends. I really think there is a lot more going on. I know there has been text messages and IM conversations between them. I just haven't been able to find out what is said between them because she deletes everything and when I ask her, she says I'm trippin'. I feel like my friend has been acting weird too. We don't hang out like we used too. I want to ask him but I don't know how to really go about it without looking like I'm crazy or I'm being a bitch. How do I find out what's really going on without looking like I'm jealous or crazy?

Sincerely,
Paranoid Boyfriend

Dear Paranoid Boyfriend,

I think you might need to read last week's blog. You might know that guy! No, seriously, you say that you have had jealousy between the both of you so why isn't she just going to show you a couple texts to put your mind at ease? This guy was your friend first, why is he chatting it up with your girlfriend? (Common sense stuff) Things like that shouldn't be hidden. Yes, it's normal to make friends with your significant other's friends. No, Not normal to take them over and go behind their back. I would question that too. I don't think you are going to get the answer that you want. You should be asking yourself what is SO GREAT about this relationship, that you need to hang on to it after all the jealousy and arguing? I know you probably won't be able to help yourself until you get to the bottom of what's going on with them. The fact of the matter is, they shouldn't want to keep anything from you if they both care about you. No pu-na-na in the world is worth this kind of aggravation (unless there are some Circus du Soleil acrobatics involved)! Drop them both and move on.

Sincerely,
Atomic Bombshell

Do you have questions or comments about sex, CRAZY SEX or dating? Email me at AtomicXBombshell@yahoo.com

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Nancie or March Madnes....Ehhhh Nancie of Course

Nancie


It's Tourney Time Baby..time for all the girls (not all) to close their eyes and pick the winners. Somehow they usually end up winning the pool too. Stop taking my money! Temple put in a good fight, but they couldn't pull it out in the end. Duke...well where the eff is Belmont anyway? Only Belmont I know is a street cutting through Manayunk area. We have St Joe's and Nova today, so hopefully the Philly area can make some moves and not drown like Temple did.

Now, onto our hottie. OOOOH, Nancie. This 25 year old Philadelphia is just...wow. You can tell she knows how to party and I'd pass up a week of tourney games to go out drinking with this hottie. She would definitely be a good time and I can't stop looking at these pictures. She's a bartender, so you know she can hang til the wee hours of the 'moanin...okay that was ridiculous. I just need to find out where she works, so I can be that creepy dude in the corner of her bar gawking at every move she makes and following her around like a puppy. Anyways, I can't do Nancie enough justice, so ill let her tell it like it is.

"I am a 25 year old bartender and soon to be heading back to school to become a dental assistant. I love just hanging out with the girl and going anywhere we can have some fun...going on crazy vacations and having a great time. Life is too short to have any regrets, so live your life to the fullest and stay drama free."

Tip of the Day

Q: What's your very best piece of dating advice for a single guy?


A: Let her chase after you! It's so much better that way, so you don't look like your desperate. Try and catch our attention by wearing clothes that most people compliment you on, smile at her . Also when you get a chance to talk to her show her how great your personality is, make her laugh! girls love when guys make them laugh! and sooner or later you'll have him chasing after you!

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The Young Boss Of The Cross For Four Quarters

I'm a diehard Iverson fan. My worst Sixers moment is when they finally gave up and parted ways with AI. I still got the Georgetown jersey, the 6 foot Iverson poster from his MVP year, and I was there when he crossed over Jordan, and snatched up that torch for a new generation. I've long made the argument that Iverson's affect on the game is the most similar to Jordan. At elast compared to Kobe, Vince, who else...LeBron. Not so much skill or talent wise...but look what Iverson changed. His "Keep It Real" attitude had fans across the globe sporting cornroaws, tattoos, and now armbands. He helped spread the game and change the overall face of the NBA. How many guys were compeltely tatted when AI came into the league? Few. Allen changed hte attitudes of the players..for better or worse, depending on who you ask. But you can't deny the effect he had on the game of basketball. So here's the video I spoke of earlier. Allen Iverson returning to Philly...

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Warrington PA... A Hotspot For Hotties? Really?

A. Marie


I wouldn't be doing Philly any justice if I didn't mention the emotional return of Allen Iverson. We stepped up and displayed a rare touch of class, giving AI a 51 second introduction that only stopped because the announcer started talking. You couldn't even hear them announce his name! I really thought homeboy was gonna cry, especially when he did his old "Hand to the ear" routine. He was close. So today we bring you A. Marie. Mmmm mmmm good, like Hamburger Helper. She's from Warrington...and let me say again. This is like 10 minutes from me...and not once have I EVER seen this kind of talent in Warrington. I used to goddamn work in Warrington. NEVER EVER in my life did I think of Warrington as a hotspot for hotties. My whole world's been blown upside down. Ths hottie is a fulltime student, part-time worker, and all-time hottie. I'm bringin the blondes back on this one bigtime. Look at the smile...it's a classic. She likes to spend her summers in Ocean City, Maryland...hang with her friends, and she takes pride in the fact that she loves her girls, and is always trying to be a good friend. Well, I'm completely thrown off the loop, cause now I have to go scour the Warrington area Starbucks (at the advice of Kirby) for some fresh new talent. I have such a tough life.

Tip of the Day

Q: What's your very best piece of dating advice for a single guy?


A: best piece of dating advice for every single man out there is..BE YOURSELF! and stop acting like someone you aren't!! :)have a good day!!

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So I Met This Hottie The Other Day,I Got Her Number Called Her Up, Said How Yooooou Doin?

Ashlee

Wednesdays suck...rain sucks...you suck. In fact, the only good thing about today is the lovely Ashlee. She's 20 years old, lives in Jersey, but works at the Roxxy in Philly every weekend. Ahhh, 20 years old...old enough to decide who runs our country, but not old enough to drink a beer, or buy porn in some states (although if this was Alabama she could legally marry her brother, but that's on some next level weird shit.) Ashlee is currently finishing up school to be a surgical technician. If I went into surgery knowing I might not come out of it alive, I wouldn't mind this being the last face (or butt) I see. Ashlee's also a Gemini (like me!) so you know she's Cuh-razy at times. I know I certainly have the double personality. I can't get over the petite little package on this girl...I seriously love it. Just tiny and hot and all the good things that come along with that. If I were to create a hottie, I'd start with Ashlee as the template...and work my way from there. Wouldn't be much work to do, and since I'm lazy, that would make my job easy. Seriously...just imagine coming home from a hard days work of mopping up schoolchildren mess's all day, and you open the door and find Ashlee in the red outfit with a bowl of hot wings and the Final Four on in Hi-Def. I'm not real religious and shit, but I think that may be what heaven's like.

Tip of the Day

Q: What's your absolute best piece of dating advice for a single guy?

A: Best dating advice for a shy guy is to just be yourself dont act all fake to try and impress a girl, not all nice guys finish last but then again dont be a little girl about it and get whipped and let the girl have all the control, girls LOVE a challenge!

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Oh Say Can You See.............Jackie

Jackie

Top O' the Morning to Ya... I know most of you drunkards are nursing some serious hangovers with your coffee and 48 ounces of water after yesterday's Irish affair. Yesterday was dedicated to Ireland and boozing to be honest. Today, we would like to support the red, white, and blue.....literally. The American flag that Jackie is sporting is unbelievable. She comes to us from the Dirty Jers. She's 20 years and a hopeless romantic that likes to play the guitar. She is also is a big fan of the shore. This girl is the total package..hot, talented, loves the beach, loves football, and a good girl. Looks like I'm missing out on another one fellas. O yeah, last but not least check out those tats. Jackie sing that anthem girl.....

"I'm a laid back girl that just likes to hang out with the boys. I'm no girlie-girl haha. When i go out i LOVE to dance and have a good time. my favorite place to hang out would just be a local pub. But when it comes to football season you'll see me either in the parking lot at the game or at a friends house with a beer in my hand and my jersey on my back! Don't get me wrong tho, I can clean up and be one sexy Patriot Girl."

Tip of the Day

Q: What is your best piece of dating advice for a single guy?

A: My best dating advice would be for you guys to be yourself! Don't put up a front to try and impress a girl.... we catch onto that stuff. Personally i like a guy that can crack jokes and be fun and outgoing. Why don't you try acting like you do with the guys around a girl (just not so perverted). We like to hang out and watch football and wrestle around too! So go out and have fun. Don't be so uptight. We have one chance in life, make the best of it!! Go out and meet a fun loving girl!
-Jackie <3

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