Search For Your Favorite Hottie

Thursday, September 13, 2007


Lauren Houck OH YAY! Today we have an FHM Magazine certified hottie! For the sloooow people, she's been in FHM, so that means she's hot. My boy, Sullivan (FUMBLES!!!!) can attest that this Hottie looks just as good in person as on our site. I think she bought a car from him, or her friend did. Lauren comes to us from Cherry Hill, another Dirty Jerz girl, where she goes to Rutgers-Camden and majors in sociology. So technically, wouldn't she be the perfect person to ask for dating tips? Lauren also played soccer at Rutgers which explains the superior body structure (?). I can't think of a polite way to say she's got a smokin hot body. Oh (sidenote), and Philly girls need to step it up. These Jersey girls might be more fun. She certainly looks like she can have fun. I think it's the devious smile. Looks like she's up to no good. She also says she loves the peace sign, which I mistook for meaning she loves flashing the peace sign, like our Douchebag of the Week. She actually loves collecting anything with peace signs on it. Very Hippy-ish, Lauren! Her room must be a trip for hippies on acid. Our hottie also works at a tanning salon in Cherry Hill, so if you see me on the streets looking like a rotten orange, you know where I've been. Another fun fact about today's Hottie is the she has a brother named Ralph......get it....Ralph and Lauren...Ralph Lauren. Yes, they believe it may have been planned that way. And her sister is a mutt named Mia. Lauren, sorry to call your puppy a mutt, but since I got my little chick magnet, I'm not a fan of any other dogs. Anyway, all gayness aside, listen to her advice, she's a trained Hottie.

Tip of the Day

Q: What's the best piece of advice you cagive us for dating/ approaching a Hottie?

A: You have to have confidence and not be to overprotective. Give the girl space and don’t be jealous. If she only has eyes for you then you have NOTHING to worry about. Also, no CHEESY lines. :) Just have fun and be yourself. Humor can win any girl over. I think :)

I can attest to the space thing being true. I screwed that up literally LAST week. If the girls into you, she'll get back to you. Patience is a you care anyway....assholes. Just look at the pretty pictures, retard.