Stranger and a Gentleman

Brief Description of this section...I went on a fake date with a willing and able participant.. Jen, our Monday Hottie, to find out what it is we screw up on a first date that maybe we aren't even aware we're doing. Where do we improve, what are our strong points? It's the quest to make this ugly duckling into the perfect gentleman. It's a work in progress, but this date was strictly professional, although I had to approach it as though it wasn't for the sake of the article. It's a work in progress, so feel free to e-mail some tips.

I was supposed to meet Jen at noon at Bahama Breeze by Cherry Hill Mall, but as usual I ran a few minutes late. Shit...now I'm panicking to find this place AND be on time....so I'm literally jogging through the mall. I finally get there and don't see her, but I've already gotten the text message that I'm late. I spot this petite blonde sitting at the bar and walk up hoping it's her, and sure enough...it is. But I'm not prepared for the level of gorgeous I was going to be eating with so I immediately become nervous, and blame the sweating on the jog through the mall. (I hope that was part of it, cause it's just weird if I sweat like that.) We start chit-chatting...she's drinking wine, I order a beer, because I still have to go back to work ...sorry boss.

It takes me about four minutes of that initial awkwardness to finally realize that she's actually really cool and easy to get along with. I fill this time by asking questions about what's on the menu, and what are her plans for the day. I catch myself talking about me and immediately start asking questions about her. And then when she answers, I actually listen, but I'm distracted because I'm trying to come up with another question that feeds off her answer. Try that sometime...it's harder than it sounds. We order and eat...which I think is the worst thing to do on a first date. If there's any way to show you have no manners, or common courtesy, go eat with your mouth open, and talk with a mouthful, or, hell, even try to carry a conversation while you inhale a jumbo coconut shrimp in one bite. It's like the first date for me is spent worrying about not effing it up.I keep telling myself..."Don't look like an ass." Then while I'm telling myself this, I have to look at this 8th wonder of the world across from me, and carry on decent conversation.

Finally the wine and beer take a minor affect, and we're opening up a little bit. I'm getting a much more comfortable vibe as the conversation changes to past experiences and other idle shit chat. Chit chat. So I find out she lived in LA, and I ask "What's the craziest thing you've ever seen in LA?" I can't tell the exact answer due to defamation of character lawsuits, but she may be the first person ever to link Kato Kaelin, Charlie Sheen, and Lenny Dykstra into the same story. Now we're rolling and opening up more. It's just generally a good time, and I'm not as nervous because she hasn't left yet.

All in all, it was a fun time... I learned about Astrology, religion, and partying (and Lenny Dykstra) all in the same lunch.We left it with the always popular half a handshake ...do we hug? ..and we locked in on the ass out hug. Overall I think I did a pretty good job. It was a win-win, I went there knowing that this was a professional lunch, but I still got that experience of hanging out with a hot chick...(seriously...she's so hot that I probably coulda pulled some action from the other customers just by being seen with her. Like the "he must be hung like a horse or own Microsoft"...cause that's the only way it'd make sense for us to be eating together) I'm beginning to realize that being yourself is actually your best bet. Think about how hard it is to keep on that fake persona....just "do you" and it'll show through, and worst case scenario, you've made a new friend.