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Monday, September 24, 2007

Life Lessons From Our Resident Hottie -- THE Atomic Bombshell

I really felt compelled to write this because I have had a few creepy interactions with men on myspace. First things, first, I am the Atomic Bombshell. My profile is more of a night club business "persona." I bartend, promote events around Philadelphia, etc. Recently, I was approached by one of my myspace guy friends at a club that I work at. Now, a normal interaction would be "Hey! Are you the Atomic Bombshell? I'm So-and-so, we are friends on myspace. It's great to meet you! Thanks for the club info." Instead, here is how it really went; The guy asked me if I was Atomic Bombshell. I say yes. He then says he is my friend on myspace and that I am a bitch because I never answer his emails. ARE YOU EFFIN SERIOUS?? Is this guy really bitching at me because I don't respond to him on MYSPACE?? At this point I am thinking "JESUS CHRIST! Where the hell is my security?" So as nice as I could be, I say "Listen, don't get offended. I get so many emails and I only open the email from people I know on myspace." (The truth is, 90% of email that I get from men are usually inappropriate or asking me what's my address and other personal information). Then he proceeds to tell me that he wished he didn't vote for me as a local hottie because I am so mean. Note to men- READ PROFILES! In my profile it says in bold print that I am not here for dates and if you harass me because I don't respond to you, I will delete your goofy ass! And NEVER show up to a girls job that you never have met because she doesn't answer your myspace emails. It's really creepy and borderline psychotic. If you are looking for your dream girl, quit being cheap and join or I'm not saying that you can't establish a connection to someone on myspace. If you find someone on myspace, more power to ya! If she doesn't answer your emails, that doesn't mean show up where she works. If her profile says things like; NOT LOOKING FOR DATES, or I'M HERE FOR NETWORKING, that is not code for please try harder. Check yourself. SERIOUSLY. It's never okay to behave like that. Any girl would perceive that guy as a major red flag. I just spent the last hour going through my myspace trying to find the guy. I think I deleted about 25 guys today simply because of emails I have sitting in my inbox. COST OF THIS WEEK'S LESSON: $11.99 plus tx (Can of Mace)
You morons! Even I know these basic rules of engagement. That's why I developed a website to bypass them. Just kidding. But to our loyal fans, don't screw with our hotties. They're giving you advice to score hot girls...not bang them. Follow basic rules of common courtesy when approaching our hotties (if you ever get the chance), and don't, I repeat DO NOT, harrass them. We'll blow you up on this website faster than you can say "I haven't had sex with anyone other than myself in over a year"...I'm just sayin
-R. B. Fresh