Thursday, January 10, 2008
"A girl like me is what you call the Jack of All Trades! Don't judge a book by its cover because there's even more to me than what meets the eye. You'd be very impressed with my personality and what I have to offer. "
I'm very hard to impress...well, thats a complete lie. I'm very easy to impress. Tie a cherry stem with your tongue, or possibly recite the alphabet backwards ("But, Officer, I couldn't even do that sober"... I uttered that actual line and if you see me out at a bar and/or social function you can call me out on it, and I'll explain). MJ is 23 years old and is comin straight outta Compton...errr Philly, Mofo. She's a perfectionist in all aspects of her life, and considers herself a loyal friend. In my opinion, those are the only kind. Or you think you found one, and then you catch the red-eye home...jk. MJ models for fun, and is studying Criminal Justice in college. Ironic, if I seem to be uttering my nonsense to anymore cops... I know who I can call! "Officer, I'm bruised from the cuffs" (Yeah, it was the tightness...not the fact that I was trying to Incredible Hulk them off of me). MJ, I'll be your breaking case. As soon as we get our first lawsuit for slander/defamation/crossing social norms/making fun of retards, gays, and/or midgets, we'll make you famous with your first Freedom of Speech case! Imagine showing up to court with MJ as your lawyer. It's the ultimate Eff You. "Yessir, you got me, but I've got this judge so wrapped up in the brains and beauty of my lawyer, he forgot what my charges were! SUCKA!" That's life, and you suck at it. So do I. Now that I've been reminded that I suck at life, I'm gonna go get drunk and forget today happened. Fair? Fair. See you at the bar, loser.
Tip of the Day
Q: What's your ideal first date?
A: My ideal first date would be dinner and a few drinks in a very chill spot in the city. Maybe take a drive somewhere where the scenery is a little different. I would even consider snowboarding or a day at an amusement park as an ideal first date. What can I say? I'm a down-ass chick! All in all, a great conversation would have to take place for it to be an unforgettable date. I'm a sucker for lilies and chocolate covered strawberries. If you bring those to my door, you'll definitely get extra points *wink*
PS...Name the Song I used to ge tour headline today. First one to guess gets a kick in the babymaker. Males and Females included.
Posted by Rob B. Fresh at 7:08 AM