Dear Atomic Bombshell,
I recently discovered that my girlfriend still talks to her ex boyfriend. I really had no idea that this was happening. She always spoke of him in a very negative way. Everything she has told me about their relationship was always bad. I was really shocked to hear this from one of her closest friends who has sworn me to secrecy. Two days later, I caved in and I confronted her. She says that it's nothing. They were together for four years and why shouldn't they be friends? She said that she didn't tell me because they don't talk often and she was afraid of how I would react. I just don't understand why you would need to be friends with someone that you had such a bad relationship with? I don't think that I totally believe her nor can I ever be okay with this.
-The Beguiled Boyfriend
Dear Beguiled Boyfriend,
Because you didn't "own" that relationship, it's hard to explain why there is a need to hold on to that person or still have them in your life. Sometimes, when we go through awful things with someone, there is a weird sense of sentiment. It is possible that they still have an attachment to one another. I think your concern should be that she kept it from you. It wasn't just a piece of information that she didn't mention. This is a big deal! She was hiding the fact that her ex boyfriend was still in her life in some way. That is deceit and that is what your concern should be. Can you move on with someone who hides things from you? You need to talk to her about your relationship and the boundaries that she has crossed. I wish you the best of luck.
I would also like to add; How the hell does her friend run her mouth about it and then swears you to secrecy? That's bullshit. Something sounds really fishy, there.
Do you have questions or comments about sex or dating? I want to hear your pain. Email me at AtomicXBombshell@yahoo.com