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Friday, May 16, 2008

Well Then I Guess It's Nothin! Well, Hey, I Think You're Bluffin'


Philly Burbs Stand Up! Okay, sit the hell down, your blockin my view of this fine hottie. Krista is a 25 year old Penn State student who is studying to be a "clinical research associate. In other words, she's gonna study those new test drugs on unsuspecting citizens. So the next time you have that...errr that little problem, feel free to go to Krista and get your woody on. Not only will she help you regain your high school form, she'll also test out medicine on you that you've never heard of....can't sleep? small bladder? Is your prostate too large? Krista may have somethin to help the swelling...(wow, that ones too easy to comment on). I'm loving this brunette with the shiny hair and the golden smile. And look! She even has a slutty picture for us! In her opinion, every girl should have at least one. I say every girl should have at least 3 slutty pictures and a drawer full of private ones, but I'm a dreamer. Really, though, if you went in and Krista was like, "here, dude, try this blue pill", you know you'd swallow that pill faster than a shot of Jager. So, Krista, what's a guy like me gotta do to get a hottie like you (besides confidence...I'm no good at that one, I prefer self-degradation)?

Tip of the Day

Q: What's your best advice for all the single guys in Philly?

A: to answer that question, I would say, confidence is key. Every guy gets insanely attractive with a big dose of confidence. And don't get confidence confused with being a show-off tool. Yes, we will be impressed by the amount of money you make, or how much you can bench, but we dont want YOU to tell us about it. If you have those things, we'll see for ourselves. Oh, and please dont tell a girl how good you are in bed... You wouldnt want it to be aniticlimactic, would you? :) Just be yourself, that's so much hotter than a BMW.
Shit, confidence.....(slams door as I walk out)


achmadku said...

The best advice for all the single guys in Philly is convidence I think..