If I Walk Away And Just Let You Leave, You'll Be Stuck in My Head Like A Melody

Laura Elizabeth

I took my Flyers woes and drank them away. I could really care less anymore. I was depressed, not functioning, and I thought to myself...."how can I turn this frown upside down?" A little case of the Laura Elizabeths. Oh yeah boyeeee. I got home from the bar, and found the e-mail with Laura agreeing to be our hottie, and I got all fired up! This is a certified cutie. 19 years old, Mullivan. Laura Elizabeth goes to school at the Art Institute for Interior Design. Maybe when she graduates I'll be her first customer and she can redecorate the interior of my double wide. Dude, it's more space than you think. So not only will she have a pretty cool job, but she also passes the hat test. The hat test is very simple....hot girl puts on said hat and only two things can happen: A. She looks good and you continue on with your day, giving a silent fist pump behind her back, or B. She looks like an asshole and you force her to pay for her own ice cream and leave her with some drippy cone in her hand. Laura Elizabeth is option A. I really, really think you'd be dropping the ball by making this hottie cab it home. So now you can see why my day was turned around....this hottie can put a smile on your face just by flashing that smile of hers. Then I woke up this morning and I got an email...."oh and im taken. put that in there too" Really, dude?

Tip of the Day

Q: What's your best piece of advice for all the single men in Philly?

A: the best piece of advice i have for single guys is not to try so hard. some guys like to think that big things matter and they really dont if that makes any sense. for example; how much money they have, how much they bench press,etc. and a lot of girls dont like big partiers oh and liars. Be honest !!!

Again...Really? I can't lie, embellish, explain that I bench press freakish amounts, while wads of cash fall out of my pockets...then I go out and get wasted? WTF can I do?