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Friday, August 29, 2008

She's Gone Country, Look At Them Boots

Miss Jessica

Labor Day Weekend is here...which officially marks the end of summer, and I think I only got tan once. I hate this day. Although we have some good weather left, it's the end of summer. I don't even get to go to the shore, I gotta go to my next door neighbors wedding. Which for me means free booze, and morally questionable women. Gotta love America. Today we've got the smokin hot Miss Jessica. Now a little back story...we had a hottie back out for today. So I'm stuck scouring the interwebs, and my phonebook for a hottie. Then at like 10 pm lat nite, I get a friend request from Miss Jessica. One look at her picture and I was like, "Got it!". Luckily for us, she is able and willing to give us clowns some dating advice. Before I say've already seen the pics, so let's see what this hotties into....

Hey Guys! I'm Jessica, it's Miss Jessica to you ;-) I'm currently a graduate student at Penn State University. I'm getting my Master's degree in Criminal Justice...that's right, I'll be the hottest parole officer in PA someday! I've been modeling for almost 10 years now...currently I'm a Raretoy Girl, you'll find me at most of the larger car shows strutting my stuff :o) I love what I do! I also love working out, shopping, traveling, and spending time with my family and friends!

The body is off the heeeeezy (word, dawg. Sometimes I have to show off my whiteness). The face matches the body, too. I mean, goddamn. Right? This is a pretty good way to finish summer off. Not only is she hot, but she's a grad Penn State. I've gotten into a little bit of trouble in my day, and never once have I come across a hottie like this in our court system. If I did, this site would never exist cause I'd be out robbin' liquor stores, then turnin myself in. But then again, she'd be a parole officer which would mean I'd have to have done sometime, I'd probably been sodomized at one point, and I'd have a tattoo of a tear drop under my right eye. So if you wanna meet this hottie, you're better off going to the cars shows this hottie frequents. I always thought the brand new Mustangs were cool, but when you put Jessica on top, imitating our favorite Whitesnake video, there's just no words to describe it. Plus, she's got some awesome, well thought out advice. Use it wisely, grasshopper.

Tip of the Day

Q: Miss Jessica, what's your best piece of dating advice for Philly guys?

A: My dating advice to guys is to always be honest and be appreciative of your girl! All any girl wants is for her guy to be truthful to her and to feel appreciated and special by him. If you've always been honest with her, she'll trust you and believe in you forever. And guys, if she does something nice for you, acknowledge it and say "Thank you, baby." That's all it takes!

Well, thank YOU, babe.