This week I thought I would step out of the normal Q&A and talk about dating with a friend, Comedian/Actor/Writer, Daniel Ponsky. I thought that together, we could come up with some answers about the mysteries of dating between men and women. Why Daniel? Personally, I find him to be witty, funny and a great candidate for giving the male perspective. I think we covered a few topics during our conversation. First things first,
Atomic Bombshell: So who is Daniel Ponsky?
Daniel Ponsky: Who is Daniel Ponsky?
I'm 33 years old, and ever since I can remember I always wanted to be an entertainer. I have always loved movies and have had a knack for remembering about 50% of the dialogue in most of them.
I love to cook and I think having spent 17 working years in restaurants, night clubs and bars I have earned a decent title. When I was 18, I managed my first restaurant and by the time I was 21 I had managed 5. Chinese, Mexican, Italian, and California Cuisines are a few of my favorites. I can really fuck up some good shit with a Wok and some fine cabernet...Toot Toot!
I left college a semester before graduating so I could become a stand up comedian. lI wasn't good at school anyway. They teach too slow in school. I prefer the internet. It tells you anything you want to know.
Where do I love going on first dates? Shopping! Ameba Records, Target, Cosco, Wal-Mart, The Mall...Hot damn, you can learn a lot about a person by the way they spend their money. It's also a great ice breaker when you can pick out ugly merchandise and talk shit about it. It tells you a lot about a personality when they can talk smack, and one thing I love is a good smack talker. I also think taking in a free softball game at your local park is a fine way to be cheaply entertained. It's not that I don't like to set the bar high when it comes to dating, but like all nice things in life, they need to be earned, so they can be appreciated and not expected. In other words, I'll drop my dime, when the time, is just fine, like good wine!
I love clothes. Shopping is my forte. I don't wear the clothes, the clothes wear me...Nuff Said. I can coordinate some shit!
Atomic Bombshell: Do you now see why I love this guy?
Atomic Bombshell: SO have you thought about what the three things that mess up the preliminary dating stage?
Daniel Ponsky: Sure have. Men are predictable and women tend to forget this. We do one thing that reminds you of fantasy land and you get all caught up that we are your personal Fabio. We're not. This isn't a question of being right and wrong. This is about being practical.
Daniel Ponsky: Let me ask you a dating question?
AB: Okay..
DP: A guy takes you out for a fancy dinner and night on the town. Do you expect that level of dating from that date on?
AB: Is it a first date?
DP: Yes.. Or can he take you to the zoo on the second date and just buy you a hot dog? Would you feel cheated?
AB: Honestly, I'm a low key, kinda gal. I think that first dates are there to make a good impression. I wouldn't EXPECT that all the time. I'm all for drinking and roller skating! I don't feel cheated at all. I like low-key. It's more real.
DP: But if I don't try and show her a little bit of what I am about then if things go well, I'm going to spend the rest of my relationship in hiding. Dates should be a reflection of personality.
AB: I don't think you should ever try to portray an image about yourself that is not true.
DP: Not a measurement of financial standards. You may get it, but most women need that dollar in their face to feel secure.
AB: Money is great. It does provide a level of security but when it comes down to chemistry, it really has to be all there.
DP: For the rest of the dating world, how would you say that you know a guy is worth dating, and not just a way to kill time until someone better comes along.
AB: Wow! It's really hard. I find myself asking "Is this real?" when things are going great and I really like someone. I try to see past the initial "just started dating" feelings and see what they have to offer in the long run.
AB: What about the games men play? Or do you think it's just women?
DP: It goes both ways. Its action reaction. Eventually it doesn't matter who started playing the game, It becomes about who is going to win it. In the end, if you both cant win, then realistically your playing a bad game. I think men don't put enough out on the table in the beginning. They are afraid to open up their flaws and controversial thoughts. If they realized how important that stuff is early on, then they wouldn't waste so much of a relationships time finding it out later on.
AB: Yes, I wish men were more open and honest in the beginning. I think they tell half truths because they are thinking with something else.
DP: If she's hot...Fuck yeah. It's an expression of our interlocked emotion. I know that sounds like bullshit, but sex is a comfortable way for us to express our emotions. This isn't my own thoughts, this is what most men are saying to me. Remember, I'm also a bartender and I have heard it all. The problem is not clearly telling your partner why you are affectionate towards them. If it's sexual then say it's sexual. Don't beat around the bush saying it's for love. Love takes time and patience so it can be proven. Any man who says he has sex for love, is a fucking liar. He has it to help measure his passion for a woman.
AB: Does bad sex or clumsy sex turn guys off? Let's say you're nervous or you're still getting comfortable with the other person and you're off your game.. Do guys really judge performance?DP: Clumsy sex- I love it! No better way to show who you are then to screw the pooch. It shows your human and there is nothing better then having to do it again to prove your worth. Am I right? Bad sex is for rookies and should be checked in at the bunny slopes. I'm a professional, please!
AB: Well yeah.. There has been a drunken moment because I'm nervous and I know tonight is the big night. I think I have my bag of tricks ready then I do something like fall off his bed and into his closet.. What about something like that?
Atomic Bombshell: So who is Daniel Ponsky?
Daniel Ponsky: Who is Daniel Ponsky?
I'm 33 years old, and ever since I can remember I always wanted to be an entertainer. I have always loved movies and have had a knack for remembering about 50% of the dialogue in most of them.
I love to cook and I think having spent 17 working years in restaurants, night clubs and bars I have earned a decent title. When I was 18, I managed my first restaurant and by the time I was 21 I had managed 5. Chinese, Mexican, Italian, and California Cuisines are a few of my favorites. I can really fuck up some good shit with a Wok and some fine cabernet...Toot Toot!
I left college a semester before graduating so I could become a stand up comedian. lI wasn't good at school anyway. They teach too slow in school. I prefer the internet. It tells you anything you want to know.
Where do I love going on first dates? Shopping! Ameba Records, Target, Cosco, Wal-Mart, The Mall...Hot damn, you can learn a lot about a person by the way they spend their money. It's also a great ice breaker when you can pick out ugly merchandise and talk shit about it. It tells you a lot about a personality when they can talk smack, and one thing I love is a good smack talker. I also think taking in a free softball game at your local park is a fine way to be cheaply entertained. It's not that I don't like to set the bar high when it comes to dating, but like all nice things in life, they need to be earned, so they can be appreciated and not expected. In other words, I'll drop my dime, when the time, is just fine, like good wine!
I love clothes. Shopping is my forte. I don't wear the clothes, the clothes wear me...Nuff Said. I can coordinate some shit!
Atomic Bombshell: Do you now see why I love this guy?
Atomic Bombshell: SO have you thought about what the three things that mess up the preliminary dating stage?
Daniel Ponsky: Sure have. Men are predictable and women tend to forget this. We do one thing that reminds you of fantasy land and you get all caught up that we are your personal Fabio. We're not. This isn't a question of being right and wrong. This is about being practical.
Daniel Ponsky: Let me ask you a dating question?
AB: Okay..
DP: A guy takes you out for a fancy dinner and night on the town. Do you expect that level of dating from that date on?
AB: Is it a first date?
DP: Yes.. Or can he take you to the zoo on the second date and just buy you a hot dog? Would you feel cheated?
AB: Honestly, I'm a low key, kinda gal. I think that first dates are there to make a good impression. I wouldn't EXPECT that all the time. I'm all for drinking and roller skating! I don't feel cheated at all. I like low-key. It's more real.
DP: But if I don't try and show her a little bit of what I am about then if things go well, I'm going to spend the rest of my relationship in hiding. Dates should be a reflection of personality.
AB: I don't think you should ever try to portray an image about yourself that is not true.
DP: Not a measurement of financial standards. You may get it, but most women need that dollar in their face to feel secure.
AB: Money is great. It does provide a level of security but when it comes down to chemistry, it really has to be all there.
DP: For the rest of the dating world, how would you say that you know a guy is worth dating, and not just a way to kill time until someone better comes along.
AB: Wow! It's really hard. I find myself asking "Is this real?" when things are going great and I really like someone. I try to see past the initial "just started dating" feelings and see what they have to offer in the long run.
AB: What about the games men play? Or do you think it's just women?
DP: It goes both ways. Its action reaction. Eventually it doesn't matter who started playing the game, It becomes about who is going to win it. In the end, if you both cant win, then realistically your playing a bad game. I think men don't put enough out on the table in the beginning. They are afraid to open up their flaws and controversial thoughts. If they realized how important that stuff is early on, then they wouldn't waste so much of a relationships time finding it out later on.
AB: Yes, I wish men were more open and honest in the beginning. I think they tell half truths because they are thinking with something else.
DP: If she's hot...Fuck yeah. It's an expression of our interlocked emotion. I know that sounds like bullshit, but sex is a comfortable way for us to express our emotions. This isn't my own thoughts, this is what most men are saying to me. Remember, I'm also a bartender and I have heard it all. The problem is not clearly telling your partner why you are affectionate towards them. If it's sexual then say it's sexual. Don't beat around the bush saying it's for love. Love takes time and patience so it can be proven. Any man who says he has sex for love, is a fucking liar. He has it to help measure his passion for a woman.
AB: Does bad sex or clumsy sex turn guys off? Let's say you're nervous or you're still getting comfortable with the other person and you're off your game.. Do guys really judge performance?DP: Clumsy sex- I love it! No better way to show who you are then to screw the pooch. It shows your human and there is nothing better then having to do it again to prove your worth. Am I right? Bad sex is for rookies and should be checked in at the bunny slopes. I'm a professional, please!
AB: Well yeah.. There has been a drunken moment because I'm nervous and I know tonight is the big night. I think I have my bag of tricks ready then I do something like fall off his bed and into his closet.. What about something like that?
DP: Improv. Grab an accessory and make the most of the moment. If your cut, grab a box of bandages and play doctor nurse. It works. Never be embarrassed. Unless your hung like a pimple or hairy as a Sasquatch. Then you may be embarrassed. The question shouldn't be "Am I having sex too soon?" It should be "Am I having sex with someone I can say I will respect the next day?"
AB: Gosh, he is funny and yet, so wise!
AB: Gosh, he is funny and yet, so wise!
You can check out all of Daniel's stuff including a few of his comedy clips on his myspace page http://www.myspace.com/danielponsky. Please take the time to check him out! Thanks for reading!
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