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Friday, April 11, 2008

A Girlfriend Who Will Actually Let You Read MAXIM, And Do Many Things Still? Cuh-Razy!!! **COUGH** Mikey D **COUGH**


Wonderful Phils lost last nite. We learned that this new Bruntlett character can't lay down a simple bunt, which cost us the game. time you need to sacrifice, I'll send one of the 12 year old girls from my neighborhood up to do it. They practice...they can even direct the bunt where they want it to go! So enough wallowing in the Phils misfortune, we got playoff Hockey tonite. Now I can start watching the Flyers. I've seen like 3 games total all year...and not even full ones. But I'll start payin I wanna watch this Ovechkin kid.

Okay okay, your not here for sports... I get it. Today we've got the lovely, and talented Linds. This 26 year old Jersey Shore born transplant, is pretty good friends with Atomic Bombshell, and since Bombshell told me to go easy....I'm gonna be an ass. Just kidding, I couldn't if I wanted to be.... Linds has a smile that can rock's perfect, whiteness is Crest commercial worthy...or Orbitz, the dirty mouth commercials. She enjoys attending social and charity events in the city, and she's about to celebrate her one year anniversary living in Philly. She's also real big into fashion, and the best part of her profile is explaining why you dirty hippies who are trying not to be fashion forward, actually are making a fashion statement. The way she explained it is brilliant. Plus, dirty hippies skeeve me, so win-win. It reminded me of the time my drunk roomate stood on the roof of our townhome shouting at the kids across the lot, "WHO's The hippie now hippie? I have NO clothes. You don't wear shoes..I don't even wear clothes!" Yes, he was ass naked at 6 am, screaming at sleeping hippies...but he had a point. We got him off the roof with plastic BB's. OK, Linds is taken, but she's not your buddies asshole of a girlfriend who doesn't let him hang out. Linds used to help her guy friends in Jersey get laid. She's a wingman!! Recapping...Linds is Gorgeous, perfect smile, socially conscious, perfect wingman (cause she won't take the girl for herself), and can dress HOT. She's a winner. If she wasn't taken I'd propose. This is the type of hottie you KEEP. Plus, the advice is top notch. Good week, ladies. Thanks for all the hard thought advice, and pictures that made us...well you know.

Tip of the Day

Q: Linds, what's the best way to approach without seeming to awkward, or being "that creepy guy" all night?

A: Well, first things first. Its all about the confidence, and I'm not talking about the cocky “I’m Gods gift to all women and I’m going to be super obnoxious about it“ attitude, which by the way, is the biggest turnoff to most women, so for the men that fit that category, please end it... for all our sakes! It doesn’t matter if your shy, you just have to be comfortable with yourself. Confidence shows in your posture, walk, attitude and presence. After confidence comes humor. If you have it flaunt it! Making a woman laugh is the key. We don’t want serious conversations at a bar about our work and what we do for a living with a guy who is trying to pick us up. That’s why we go to the bar, to escape from our daily lives and let loose.

Say you see a woman at a bar with her girlfriends, which is the usual set up. While she’s talking with her girlfriends the last thing you want to do is say something like “I just wanted to let you know you have the most beautiful...blah blah blah blah.....I have ever seen”. Please spare us the bull! Whoever invented those pickup lines needs to invest in a dating coach, because it’s a dead giveaway your trying to pick her up. The secret is you don’t want to look like your trying, its supposed to be effortless. You should say “excuse me” while squeezing your way up to the bar and ordering a drink right next to her and her girlfriends, that way she notices you but your ignoring her at the same time because your ordering from the bartender. You should glance over and usually there is some sort of eye contact. Women are used to attention, sometimes not giving us the attention, will actually get our attention! Its reverse psychology.

Lets face it! At bars, there is always “that guy” who will bug the living hell out of a woman, when she is clearly not interested. An example, is when a group of women are dancing. Some moronic drunk sleazeball keeps trying to dance with us, or grab our asses...ick! NOTE: Men, women do not like to be groped unless we are inviting you to do so, and trust me, you will know when the time comes. So as a guy, if things look uncomfortable, you would naturally walk over there and take care of the situation, simply by maybe taking one of the girls by the hand, while you both are dancing and whispering in her ear that your trying to help her get rid of the creepy guy. Maybe saying something along the lines of “need some help with Romeo over their?” Naturally, she will laugh and most likely nod her head. Once you have gotten the drunk to leave the women alone, you say something very light and humorous like “I really think deep down inside you wanted him” or “Wow I should really take some advise from that guy cause he seriously has the sickest pickup game like ever”. Unless the girl is a complete dud and has no sense of humor, she will find this quirky humor amusing. These techniques have always sparked my attention. But every woman is different. But us fun free spirited ones, love the funny boys ;)


Anonymous said...

Bombshell hearts Lindsay!

J Anthony Vilone said...

Hey Lindsay,
I'm not trying to pick you up, but you spelled "their" wrong. It's "there", I'm going to let you slide on this one. Haha