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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

MILF: It's What's For Breakfast



Renee


FL-GUYZ!!! Then My Homey, Pat the Bat coming through with a bases clearing double to win the game. Even Ryan Howard scored! But let's talk abut today's hottie. Ever since American Pie, there's been this movement sweeping across the nation...growing larger and larger with each website dedicated to it. That's the elusive MILF. Often found at Michaels in the Bensalem, the MILF has the ability to bring a twenty something man to his knees. Every man should have one of these experiences....it'll change you. Anyway, I had to put this woman on today because...1) She's Hot and 2) Her views on stuff are absolutely hilariousand C) she looks badass in a leather jacket. The first email I got from her a few months ago was a herpes joke. I mean, c'mon, that's grade A talent right there. A woman who won't be disgusted by herpes and dick jokes is hard to find. And a woman who can make a good dick joke.....keeper. I'd love to say more, but Renee perfectly describes herself, and I've run out of dick jokes myself.


My name is RenĂ©e and I’m the mom blasting Metallica when I pick up my kids at school. I’m the wife who changes your ring tone to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” and calling you repeatedly when you are giving a tour of your work facility to important clients. I’m the nursing student who puts on puppet shows with rubber genitalia while practicing foley catheter insertions with her lab group. I’m the hospital worker who makes it a point to see you smile when you are feeling your absolute worst. I’ve done everything from teaching 6th grade science to doing office work and insurance relations for an auto body chain and about a million other jobs in between. I'm now back in school to become an RN. I love learning new things and meeting new people and I strive to find hilarity in the oddest of places… and telling stories about those situations is my favorite pastime. Life’s an adventure and I enjoy every minute of it; I am always laughing about something.


Insert creative Henry the IV joke here......there's a lot of advice, but I couldn't edit it down. It's ALLLLLL useful.


Tip of the Day

Q: What's your best piece of dating advice for the single guys out there in Philly?

A: My main dating advice is this: RELAX. If you truly have good chemistry with a woman, it’s pretty hard to say or do anything to completely turn her off. If she likes you enough, she’ll look past any faults and see you for the awesome person you are. Once you are in a relationship with her, keep in mind that while women like to be admired, what we like hearing more than anything else is you telling us what makes you tick. (yes, sometimes so we can use that information to destroy you, but I digress) We want to hear about your childhood, your hopes, dreams and fears- we want to know YOU. (obviously not all on the first date, but over time) Beware of women who are fishing for compliments incessantly and who only want to talk about themselves.. they will wear you out and not in a good way. As for us low maintenance types, we like your attention, but most of us don’t want to be smothered, and above all, we love it when you make us laugh.


The key to meeting an attractive woman is to get yourself out there and talk to everyone (yes, this even means guys) when you are in social situations. When a woman sees you being friendly to men and women alike, she’s much less likely to question your motives when you start talking to her and women are a lot easier to get to know when their defenses are down.


Also, make sure to be nice to her friends- I cannot stress that enough. It’s very likely she’s going to ask her friends their opinion of you before she decides to pursue you in a relationship and if her friends really dislike you, that’s a huge obstacle for you to overcome. Hopefully once you get to the point where she’s talking to you, there will be enough of a spark that she’ll want to see you again.


And my final piece of advice: for heaven’s sake guys, keep that ego of yours in check. We don’t care WHAT you look like if you’re full of yourself. Remember, we can look at a naked chick in the mirror anytime we want. WE WIN.


Modeling Photos Courtesy of: Peter Gourniak

3 comments:

Leenie said...

You go girlfriend!!! You look amazing and have such a wonderful spirit.

Anonymous said...

You are the absolute best!!! Thank you for being such a great friend!!!

SULLY FROM PITTSBURGH said...

That was me sweetie, in anonymous, HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA, IM SUCH A DOUSHE, HAHAHA!!!