Saturday, September 6, 2008
Dear Atomic Bombshell,
I have been in a relationship for over two years now. I really care about the girl I'm with. We have had a seriously rocky year but I didn't want to give up. For about the last 3 months, I started interacting with another woman. I didn't expect things to be serious. I was in a bad place with my relationship. I thought it would be harmless to talk to someone. Talking lead into other things. There was no pressure or expectation. I was working through my problems with my girlfriend who is overly emotional. Things got better between us and I figured the other thing would just fade away. I have never done anything like this before while I was in a serious relationship. Now I find myself feeling bad. I am the cheater she accused me of being even when it was not happening. I now have her trust and things are good between us. I feel guilty now that things are so good. The better things are between us, the more I think about it and why I ever did it to begin with. I don't know how to get over it or if I should tell the truth. I am not sure what to do.
Dear "Guilt Ridden,"
There are tons of reasons why people wander from there committed relationships. You will always use the reason you wandered in the first place to justify why you did it. Whatever the excuses you have come up with, you have broken your word to someone you supposedly care about. That fact will not change. The bottom line is that most people do believe that cheating is wrong. Now the guilt sets in. Guilt can be an awful emotion and also the reason why most men get caught. So you strayed against your better judgement and now you have a dark cloud lingering over your now "almost perfect relationship." What do you do? Well, you can't un-ring a bell. There was a moment that you had a choice to make. That moment is gone. You have to move forward, take what you need from the experience and learn from it. Accept it and whatever consequences may come from your actions. The decision to live with your secret is yours alone, my friend. Telling your girlfriend that you made a mistake and cheated, is not an easy conversation to have. Some people can survive cheating. Seems to me like she was already insecure about what you were doing so she may never be able to understand or forgive. You have a choice to make. No one is perfect and people do learn from their mistakes. I wish you all the best!
Do you have questions or comments about sex or dating? I want to hear all about it. Email me at AtomicXBombshell@yahoo.com
Posted by Rob B. Fresh at 1:15 PM