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Monday, September 29, 2008

THE PHILLIES ARE YOUR 2008 NATIONAL LEAGUE EAST DIVISION CHAMPS

Gina




What a weekend! I was at the Phightin's game on Saturday when we clinched the division, and that place was wild! Got all rally-toweled out, and we even stayed after to listen to the players speak and party and what not...then yesterday, I got to watch those damned New Yorkers witness their team implode AGAIN! Life was sweet. Then the Eagles came on...and life was, ummm, not so sweet. In order to make life sweet again we brought you the uber-cutie, Gina. This petite hottie comes to us from Souderton, which is the hometown of Phil's Grandfather, Jaime Moyer. Gina is a wicked smaht brunette, and has emailed us back and forth for months. I think we originally asked her to be on our site, and she declined us, but continued to email back and forth for a while.....then I get the gem of an email that is on our site today. Before we get to the sheer genius of Gina's First date....let's hear more about her.

Okay. I'm 25. I'm 5'1 and 105 lbs. I work out incessantly, and if one more person says I have an eating disorder I'm torching their house. There is nothing better to me than having a good laugh; I'm the queen of beating a dead horse. I can sing my toned little ass off. I'm off the market now; just did the whole NUPTUAL thing in June. I'm a nanny for a sweet lil cherub named Justin...I love kids. They're our future and judging from the ppl in the world today, it's CRUCIAL to prepare them to be well-adjusted adults. I'm smart. I hold that in higher regard than my "hotness" because I seriously just think I'm awkward and dorky, but I apparently make it work. I hate stupid ppl, ESPECIALLY GIRLS...it's NOT CUTE. Read a book. Ask questions without that "adorable" giggle and the twirling of your perfect deep-conditioned hair.

But i love the adorable giggle combined with the fluttering eyelashes! Gina's got brains, beauty and she backs it up with a fun, outgoing personality that's guaranteed to never leave you bored. She's real good friends with our past hottie Mama Mia! (aka Renee who right boob is prominently featured on the left side of Gina's booty picture) and the two of them together is a recipe for trouble. And yes, Gina is married, but she's still hot, and somebody still musta done something right to win her over. (Remember the site isn't about picking up this actual girl, but girls kinda like her...aka The ones outta your league). So I'd reAlly love to talk more about this girl's beauty and all her smarts, and certainly her ass, but this story is just too goddamn funny. If you never read anything on our site.....please read this. You'll be in tears.




Tip of the Day


Q: Heeeey Gina, What's , like, y'know, your worst date EVEEEER!?


A: Okay, well, I know I was asked to describe my worst date…the problem with that is, I have been a serial monogamist my whole life, so I’m going to put my own personal spin on this topic and talk about my worst “4 year date”. I was 15 years old, and happened to have caught the eye of the “hot senior” in my high school. I thought I was really cool and oh so privileged to receive this honor, so we began dating.


After about a year of really weird, outlandish behavior, he confessed to me that he had an obsession with DIAPERS. Immediately, I traveled through this timeline in my brain of him asking “what kind of diapers do you use with the babies you watch? Has a baby ever taken a shit and gotten it on you? I’m sure if you just had used to correct TYPE of diaper with the correct ABSORBENCY, that could have been avoided.” Yes, ironically, I happen to work with small children, so I’m sure I was considered a goldmine to this child of a senior.

ANYWAY, after researching this Jerry Springer-esque issue, I leaned that his little fetish was actually a condition called Infantilism. So, my biggest mistake was telling him about it, and he decided to go all-out researching it, making f’d up sex GAMES for us to play (which I politely avoided), and STEALING DIAPERS from my side babysitting jobs! STEALING DIAPERS! I also heard people checked the history of his internet usage, and found web-sites of pictures with OLD MEN in huge-ass diapers. I was young and stupid, so I stayed with him for a really long time.

During the course of our 4 year relationship, I would get these really disturbing letters (which I still keep for a rainy day to crack up at, and incase I ever need to blackmail him), about how he bought “Luv’s size 6”, and pacifiers, and used the diapers to relieve himself in. BUT, that made him JUST SO EXCITED that he had no choice but to shoot his nasty load into them when he was finished. When we would try and get intimate, he would ask me if I could pretend to be his babysitter, and his code for “do you wanna fuck” was “are you gonna CHANGE ME?” Jesus CHRIST, I am so embarrassed, but he was my first REAL boyfriend, and I thought he’d get over this, and that one day, I’d be enough.

Fortunately for me though, I realized that there were waaaayyyy too many men out there for me to be trying to make someone who was over 3 years older than I was GROW UP. **I heard that now he works at Costco, which is really spectacular considering that he can buy his “Luv’s size 6” in bulk, at a low price, and MOST LIKELY at a discounted rate.**

1 comments:

Renee said...

Clearly, he needed to wear diapers because he PISSED HIMSELF all the time from you making him laugh! Hell, I might even need a size 6 after this!

Love you, doll. ♥
~Mama Mia