This week I was forwarded an interesting article from a ABACDA reader. I really wanted to share with everyone because I really feel like it's of interest to everyone. I hope that you enjoy!
by Carol Allen
Dubbed the "Fantasy Bond" by psychologist Robert Firestone, this feeling of illusory connection between people who don't know or barely know one another is created as a defense against loneliness and the fear of intimacy. By having a love life mostly in one's head, they get the benefit of not having to risk the rejection a real love could lead to, while getting some of their needs for attention satisfied by both their own imagination and the fleeting interactions the circumstances allow. It seems harmless, but the danger is that the more a person relies on fantasies of connection, the less he or she will seek or be able to accept love and affection in a real relationship.