Dear Atomic Bombshell,
I had a situation with a female friend. We would hook up once and a while. We didn't have a verbal agreement or anything. I just thought it was understood that I would "see ya, when I see ya." We were cool and for a long time there were no problems with the way things were. Or so I thought. I guess she started to catch feelings and shit hit the fan when I started seeing someone else. I knew it might be a little awkward but I had no idea how upset she would be. Honestly, I didn't do anything wrong. We had no commitment. I didn't mean to hurt her. I just didn't feel like we were going in that direction. We date totally different types of people. I tried talking to her about it and she is just pissed. I never flaunted the girl I'm dating, in front of her. I tried to be respectful of the situation and was hoping that in time, it would get normal again. I don't understand how she can be so mad if there were no rules or commitment between us?
"Back to the Friend Zone"
Dear "Back to the Friend Zone,"
Why do men always think that sex will not complicate things? Umm, hello? SEX COMPLICATES THINGS! Even if you do set boundaries and agree to certain things, there is always a weird attachment. What's worse is that our ego's get involved. She may have become attached to you more than she should. She probably should have said something to you about it. On the other hand, you went from sleeping with her to dating someone else. Her ego may be a little crushed. That's like saying "Okay, I have been sleeping with you for X amount of time, but I don't see you as someone I could date so I'm going to date her." Women are complicated beings. We often mistake our hurt ego's, as hurt feelings. You should just try saying you're sorry. I know you didn't do anything wrong but sometimes, just hearing someone say that they are sorry for hurting you or upsetting you, goes a long way. You shouldn't apologize for dating. If this girl is really your friend, then apologize for upsetting her and not discussing it sooner. She will get over it in time. No doubt! Women are resilient creatures. This is your friend, you should handle this with care. Thanks for writing.
Do you have questions or comments about sex or dating? I want to hear all about it. Email me at AtomicXBombshell@yahoo.com