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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I Live My Life A Quarter Mile At A Time, Hottie

I'm fired up! I got my Chutley jersey on already...I went to class and all I could think aboot (I have a Canadian accent when I concentrate) was "I'm going to a Phillies playoff game...shit yeah" We got past hottie and current ballgirl, Justine, working the sidelines with grace and passion. Snagging line drives and giving them to unsuspecting children instead of drunk creepers. Good work! So today, we're going to give you something on this site we've never had before....DUDES! Just kidding. We've got a kind of a tomboy, girl next door, sweet, but will still light your ass up hottie. She mixes into about 4 different categories...and versatility is best when served with beer. Oh, and I forgot to mention that this hottie tends bar as well. With the nickname, Kristy the Pornstar, let us welcome in this new hottie by telling us a little bit about herself...

Well, my name is Kristy I am 24. I am a bartender and a Medical Transcriptionist. I love playing basketball, and watching my Eagles!! I love to go out with the girls, but I am also a big fan of rebuilding cars, and racing them. I am a registered driver for Grudge Race Wars in Reading, and I have won 22 out of 25 races I ran in.

What the shit is grudge wars you ask? Well, apparently it's drag racing. Which means, she's got a cooler car than your '95 Camry with the gold package. Its cool though, cause a car isn't really an extension of your penis. Unless you drive a segway, then you should cut your penis off. So the tomboy side of Kristy likes to build cars and get dirty, then run out on to the basketball court, and after that go to the local pub and down a few shots of Cuervo. Sounds like my type of woman...hell, that sounds like most of my buddies, but they don't even fix cars. Or have breasts. She also likes the Eagles, which after yesterdays hottie is music to my ears. (Update on Irina: can't make her not like the cowboys, but she hates Romo) Kristy can also shed the clothes and go into a modeling shoot and come out looking like a glamour queen. She's got incredible legs, and a seriously tight body. She also loves to hang out with the girls....She's 22 out of 25 in, you better be man enough to handle this hottie...check out her advice too. 4 good tips for you schlepprocks.

Tip of the Day

Q: Kristy....what are your top dating advice tips for dudes?

A: Top 4 tips of my dating advice:

1. Be yourself. Honesty is key in a relationship.. if you are looking for someone to truely and genuinely care about you and who you are as a person, you need to show your true colors.. no beating around the bush.

2. Make her laugh, if a man can make me laugh at any given time, he is a keeper.

3. Kiss her and tell her she is beautiful, even if she is in sweatpants, a hoodie- with mascara running down her face. It makes a girl glow from the inside out.

4. Do things she wants to do also. If she is willing to go to a football game with you, go to the mall with her.. or whatever it is she wants to do. Compromise...