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Monday, December 10, 2007

C'mon, Hottie, Light My Fire


What a treat for a Monday morning! The Eagles officially shat the bed, The SuperJive Era is about to be over in my opinion. So I brought you something even better than an Eagles victory. Sari. A hottie with a body and a face to match. Added bonus...she drinks Yuengling which means she's a cheap date. I'm like Dave Chappelle on Half Baked...I'll steal from the homeless in order to afford a date with her. Check your pockets. I have. You're broker than me. Embarrassing. Fortunately, you won't need much to impress this hottie. She's 26 years old and lives in our fine, ugly city, and you can find her at a dive bar, or hitting up the posh establishments. No, not Posh like the Spice Girl. Although I'd hit that up too. I'm just sayin. The name Sari is a variant of Sarah, and means "Girl I'd like to touch inappropriately" ...just kidding. It means Princess, but the latter holds true. I don;t even wanna explain this one. Princess, break em off with a little knowledge about yourself!

I am unique cause I am the kind of girl that can rock out at a show in cowboy boots with a bandana around my head and tattoos showin', go camping and roll around in mud,backpack and roadtrip anywhere and everywhere,eat at great lil cheap byobs like Sabrinas,am totally happy playing pool at The Green Room and pounding Yuengling, staying in on a rainy Sunday in sweats and a wife beater ordering in,playing cards and cuddling watching seasons of Entourage however, I am also the same girl who rocks a Gucci and Christian Louboutins stilettos and drink loads of Veuve at Buddakhan or The Capital Grill,can spot any cheap knock-off of anything,am addicted to reality tv,and knows when and where if necessary to turn on the sassiness. Plus you can and should bring me home to mom.

I'd take her home to mom. Then high five dad, while the ladies chatted! That could probably earn me a steak dinner!

Tip of the Day

Q: If you had one piece of dating advice to give guys....what would it be?

A: my advice would be-speak or learn PROPER English(aint IS NOT a word)

- be confident when approaching us but not scary stalker-DON'T PLAY GAMES!!!

- read "Hes Just Not That Into You" sure its for girls but, thats what we expect and want

- don't be too macho!! sit through a damn episode of Sex and The City, go to the mall...and we'll watch or go to a game with you and play beer pong

- OPEN THE DOOR FOR US -all doors!!

- do not bring up the ex factor on a first date!!! And never ask for the number of partners!!! '(cause its times 3 and you'll be disappointed)

- We ARE Not and will never be Dudes so NEVER call us that!!!

- you choose the first date (you don't need to shell out tons of money to impress us just be thoughtful)

- don't give us red roses on Valentines Day-way too cliche