Valentine's Day is my LEAST favorite holiday. Oh the pressure of it all! This Year, Comedian Daniel Ponsky is my Valentine! He's sweet, smart, funny and shares the same opinion as I do, about this holiday. You can check out all of Daniel's stuff including a few of his comedy clips on his myspace page http://www.myspace.com/danielponsky.
Happy Valentine's Day to all of our readers!
VALENTINE'S (VD) DAY Daniel Ponsky style
Valentines Day, it's here again. That special day where love is not blind, it's expensive. When Shmoopiness reigns supreme over the wallets of the chosen suckas who have been blessed with that significant other to spoil for an entire day, while the so called single and unlucky are forced to watch uncomfortable displays of affection with a bitter jaded scorn from afar.That's right, hear me now, Valentine's Day is the rape of all holidays! It sneaks up on you like a ninja. It's only a month or so after Christmas. I mean damn, that's a lot of pressure to have to produce after hooking up say, family, friends, co-workers, and not to mention probably the same person you were dating a month ago at Christmas, when you probably kicked down the heavy cheese with extra jalapeño (Translation-Bought an expensive gift for)!
Those sluts in Hollywood don't help by running Zales, and Diamond Brother commercials 24/7/12 either. They subliminally show how people are only in love when they see Diamonds. Why, they don't fucking cure cancer. It's a rock. None the less, the bigger the diamond, the bigger the smile. People smiling, always smiling when they see the diamonds. Never before they see the diamonds, no, only after, which to me says people are only happy after they see diamonds, and any other time in life they are seen smiling, they're faking it. I mean damn, talk about mugging the lower middle class. Why not like push the Hershey Commercials a little more, can you feel me. Chicks dig chocolate, right? It's good and it's cheap.
Not that I'm not down to drop a bill or two on the ladies, but where I come from, you gotta earn that paper. Love is tested, tried and true. It ain't some shit your gonna find buy fluffing it with sparkle and a bottle full of bub. Now get me right, I'm a flower giving motherfucker, but I don't need a holiday to lite that fuse for Miss Delicious. I'm on it! And I ain't so cheap and frugal that I don't get gifts, cause I'm the Santa Claus of sweet pea lovers.
What I'm saying is that Valentine's Day should be a little more of a simple reminder to yourself to take a moment to reflect on the one you love and gain a stronger appreciation for their affection and support. It shouldn't be watered down with materialistic tokens of appreciation which lead to bankruptcy..
So, on those short, subtle, sweet notes, I intend to list a few of my tips on getting through VD Day which might help you from breaking the bank, and showing a loved one how much you really, really care about them. Feel free to add one of your own and see how creative and long the list gets.I believe that taking the time to set the scene for the date, plays more heavy into the emotional response of your loved one, booty call, Vietcong hooker, or whatever.
PICNICS- I love em. Throw in a $2 Frisbee and you have the gift that gives all day long. Throw in a $8 bottle of vino, and you have the concoction for an all night %$^#1 fest. If you don't know how to cook then go to your favorite place to eat(under$20 person) and order the shit to-go. Don't forget the roses. Most gas stations have that Mexican boy or cult member selling em at the corner, at wholesale prices. Tell em Daniel sent you.