I have been spending a lot of time with a girl from work. I feel like we really hit it off. The problem is, she is in a long term relationship that she says is really bad. Our friendship started off because I guess she needed someone to talk to. Her boyfriend is really possessive and gives her the wrong kind of attention. I was just a friendly ear for her. We started spending a lot of time texting and calling each other. We would hang out all the time after work. Then we started hooking up, and things were really good. This went on for a few weeks and I thought everything was looking good. Then after one of her rants about her boyfriend, I told her to leave him and she said that she couldn't, things were complicated. The night ended okay, but then she stopped returning my texts and calls. She cut her shifts at work down to one shift. I barely see her. I finally asked her why she hasn't responded or if something was wrong? She said she never got the messages and her phone service was messed up. She said that she would call me. She is acting cold and distant. I don't understand what happened?
Dear Clueless Guy,
Your first mistake was getting involved with a woman who was in a long term relationship. Relationship's don't just end over night. I don't care how miserable she says she is. Let me break down what's going on here;
It's complicated- It's not complicated: she has a boyfriend but wants to sleep with you, too. She wants someone to dote on her and give her attention when she feels like it.
I didn't get the message- OKAY, on occasion, this could happen. But how many times?. Sure, technology isn't fool proof but everyone has a cell phone and email, it's highly unlikely she didn't know you were trying to reach her. If you are even questioning what she is saying, it's probably not the entire truth.
I'll call you- When someone says "I'll call you," we tend to think they mean you will get a call within a few days. But for a situation like this, "I'll call you," just means that she'll talk to you again sometime before she dies.
DUDE, MOVE ON. Don't get involved.. This process with her "long-term relationship" could take months. the reason why people stay long after things have gone bad, is because of comfort and habit. You would do better to find someone who is unattached and more secure. Good luck!
Do you have questions or comments about sex or dating? I want to hear your pain. Email me at AtomicXBombshell@yahoo.com