I have an off and on relationship with my girlfriend. We have been together for about 2 years. I guess you might say that our relationship is unhealthy. We fight a lot and we are both jealous. This last time that we broke up, she stayed with a friend but I heard she was hanging out with one of my good (guy) friends. I think they may have been doing something behind my back. I know it's expected that after 2 years, they would become friends. I really think there is a lot more going on. I know there has been text messages and IM conversations between them. I just haven't been able to find out what is said between them because she deletes everything and when I ask her, she says I'm trippin'. I feel like my friend has been acting weird too. We don't hang out like we used too. I want to ask him but I don't know how to really go about it without looking like I'm crazy or I'm being a bitch. How do I find out what's really going on without looking like I'm jealous or crazy?
Dear Paranoid Boyfriend,
I think you might need to read last week's blog. You might know that guy! No, seriously, you say that you have had jealousy between the both of you so why isn't she just going to show you a couple texts to put your mind at ease? This guy was your friend first, why is he chatting it up with your girlfriend? (Common sense stuff) Things like that shouldn't be hidden. Yes, it's normal to make friends with your significant other's friends. No, Not normal to take them over and go behind their back. I would question that too. I don't think you are going to get the answer that you want. You should be asking yourself what is SO GREAT about this relationship, that you need to hang on to it after all the jealousy and arguing? I know you probably won't be able to help yourself until you get to the bottom of what's going on with them. The fact of the matter is, they shouldn't want to keep anything from you if they both care about you. No pu-na-na in the world is worth this kind of aggravation (unless there are some Circus du Soleil acrobatics involved)! Drop them both and move on.
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