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Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Stuntin Is A Habit, Get Like Me

Jessica

Right now...there's some dude looking at this page who is probably pretty interested in kicking himself in the nuts. I emailed last night to remind Jessica that she'd be on today and I get this email back...

I have been with this new guy for 3 months thought he was amazing treated me like a princess. Turns out he was cheating on me the whole time. Now hes rubbing it in my face laughing at me its sooo freaking crazy!! I say "Trust No One"

See, I've heard rules and reasonings on why people should or shouldn't cheat...the main rules for guys to adhere by...if your dating a 9, as Jessica is, you can't cheat with a 3. It's gotta be an upgrade. It's just bad math. I find it hard to believe that this guy found an upgrade. This 23 year old cocktail waitress/interior designer comes to us from Jersey. She attends the Art Insitute of Philadelphia, and overall just really has a lot going for her. I mean, what's not to like? Goes to a good school, good future, incredible boobs, and a bangin ass. And the face is angelic too....great smile, deep brown eyes...dude, really? I know I personally wouldn't screw this one up, but to each his own. Not only is she smokin' but she's also into sports....and she hates to lose. Which is good, but if I ever play you one on one (in basketball, freaks) I'm not giving up any easy layups. I'm like Charles Oakley in the lane, you gotta earn that shit! As I talk all this shit she's probably sitting on her cell phone pullin out Iverson like crossovers with one hand, just mocking this website. She's also a clean freak, almost OCD about it...so after my first hard foul, she'll probably be breaking out the Tide stick to clean up her outfit. Really though...do the math. Hot girl, looooves sports (and can play them), models, has a bright future...I don't know what more guys could want.....Dude, you're a dumbass. Jessica, anytime you want a game of one on one, you know where to reach me.

Tip of the Day

Q: What's your best piece of dating advice for all the GOOD guys out there?

A: Just be yourself and gave fun. If you always treat a girl with respect then they will respect you.

Oh, and don't cheat.

2 comments:

Renee said...

Pretend to have wild make up sex. Cuff him to the bed. Then pluck his nut hairs one by one by one.

Send his info to the Scientologists.

Piss in a glass of ice and tell him it's lemonade.

I also have a yard full of poison ivy if you want to use that for anything.

Feel better soon, sweetheart, you're gorgeous. :)

Love,
A former Hottie

rlgambino4 said...

damn your ruthless! haha